Years later, on a sunny day, JJJ felt he would wake up early and tend to his “garden”. He awoke, poured some coffee and stepped out into his backyard to see his garden in full bloom. The buds were long, sticky, and so crystally that they gleamed in the sunlight. JJJ started strolling through his field to reach his private stash of gold weed. Now don’t be fooled, JJJ only called it gold weed because it had beautiful yellow hairs and such huge crystals that they seemed to glow gold in the sunlight. He crouched down to smell his beloved weed. The scent was intoxicateing. So he thought “what the hell, smoke em if you got em.” JJJ sat down and sparked one up fresh. As he was smoking, he could see all the little creatures around him playing and acting oh so cute. He even saw a cute little squirrel run off with a golden bud, how sweet! Wait… did that fucking squirrel steal JJJ’s weed!? FUCK THAT!! But, unfortunately, the squirrel was gone, but JJJ did see a little collar with a symbol on it. JJJ thought MCC would want to know about this. JJJ went back inside and woke up MCC. JJJ told him what happened. MCC thought for a second and sighed.
Meanwhile, the squirrel scurries back to his home, over the hill, through the suburbs, pass death valley, across the elephant zombie graveyard, and finally over Mt. Doom to his final destination of… the FBI HQ!! He enters and runs to Lab 12-4-20. He climbs on to a pedestal as a dark figure approaches. As the lights hit his face you see its Agent Stone. He takes the golden weed, inspects it, and hands it to a scientist. He bends over, pets the squirrel, and hands it an acorn “Good job. Now show them where it is.” As he turns around showing hundreds of squirrels.
MCC said,” Son, I got something to tell you. Your father called me a month before he died and said the gov’t was after his weed. He said he didn’t want the feds to get his crops so I traveled here to protect his garden. He forgot to tell me he had a son. Anyways, son you need to protect your father’s pride and joy. That squirrel was trained by the gov’t for secret retrieval missions.” JJJ was stunned “How do you know so much?” MCC said,”I watch A&E and the history channel, duh!”
MCC “Son, this may be dangerous. Are you sure you have the balls for it, Jimmy?” JJJ says “Call me the Amazing Hillbilly Turtle!” as he throws on his fathers shell.
That night, MCC couldn’t sleep, so he thought he would take a walk through the garden. At the other end of the garden, he saw a frightening sight, a thousand squirrel army against two men. MCC quickly ran back into the house and woke up JJJ. “Son get your shit together, there are about a thousand squirrels coming after your weed! God fucking damn it, I left all my weapons at home.” JJJ jumps out of bed and flies to his storage room and comes back with an arsenal of weapons, “Remember uncle, I’m a hillbilly and it’s hunting season!”
(Pictures of him equipping his armor and weapon)
JJJ – “Let’s roll!” MCC – “Fuck the feds!”
(Massive Bloodshed)
MCC says “Now that my son would make your old man proud” JJJ turns and says “Thanks” MCC says “Boy this was most likely the smallest of the Feds tricks so be on your feet. We were lucky this time. We will have to prepare for what they’ll throw at us next” JJJ says “Yeah, but til then lets smoke!”
Agent Stone stares at a monitor. “You won this time but we will get your weed” He turns to the gold weed in glass case, “And it will be all ours!”